SOCKS AND SUSTAINABILITY: THE ULTIMATE OXYMORON

A guide to wearing your favorite socks while pretending to care about the planet

THE SOCK-LESSION OF THE PLANET

It's a well-known fact that socks are the second-largest contributor to greenhouse gas emissions (after cats). But don't just take our word for it! Here's a graph:

A chart that looks suspiciously like a graph, but is actually just a drawing of a cat in a sock

As you can see, the numbers are stark. But fear not! For there is a way to save the planet, one sock at a time.

SOCKS FOR A SUSTAINABLE FUTURE

Avoiding socks altogether is not the answer (although, let's be real, it's a good start). Instead, we recommend:

  • Buy socks made from the finest imported llama wool - it's like buying carbon credits, but for your feet!
  • Wash your socks 37 times before throwing them away - because who needs energy efficiency when it comes to socks?
  • Weep uncontrollably whenever you lose a sock in the wash - it's like crying over the state of the planet, but with more water!