Atomic Bag FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is an atomic bag?

A: An atomic bag is a highly radioactive, extremely fashionable handbag that's sure to make you the envy of all your friends.

Q: How do I clean my atomic bag?

A: Simply wipe it down with a damp cloth, then nuke it in a microwave for 3-5 seconds to get rid of any lingering radioactive particles.

Q: Can I wear my atomic bag on a plane?

A: No. Don't do that. That's just a recipe for disaster.

Q: Can I use my atomic bag to store my nuclear secrets?

A: Only if you're prepared to face the consequences of your highly classified information being leaked to the highest bidder.

Q: Is my atomic bag guaranteed not to explode in my hands?

A: No. That's just not a thing we can guarantee. But hey, it's only a matter of time before it does, right?

Q: Can I get an atomic bag with my company logo on it?

A: Only if you're willing to pay triple the price for the 'Logo-Tantrum' package.

Q: Is the atomic bag available in other colors?

A: Only the standard palette of radioactive green, atomic orange, and mildly hazardous waste yellow.