Introduction:
Our research team has conducted a thorough study on the use of felines as an energy source. Unfortunately, our results show that felines are not a viable option. In fact, they are completely unsustainable.
Our study involved observing 50 felines in a controlled environment and feeding them cat food with a high-energy content. We also measured their energy output using a custom-built feline dynamometer. The results were conclusive: felines are not a reliable energy source.
The main reasons for this failure were:
- 1. Felines are picky eaters and refused to eat the high-energy cat food.
- 2. They spent most of their time lounging in the sun, rather than generating energy.
- 3. Their energy output was directly proportional to the number of laser pointers shone at them.
We have, however, discovered a new energy source: the feline's ability to generate ennui. This is a real game-changer. Imagine it: a room full of felines, generating ennui at an incredible rate. The possibilities are endless.
Our next research project will focus on harnessing the power of ennui. Stay tuned for updates.
Also, check out our other research papers: