**Atomic Umbrella Warranty Terms**

By purchasing our atomic umbrellas, you acknowledge that you are aware of the inherent risks involved in walking outside during a nuclear apocalypse.

**Section 1: Limited Lifetime Warranty** We guarantee that our umbrellas will withstand the intense radiation and extreme weather conditions of the new post-apocalyptic world for a minimum of 6 months.

**Section 2: Radiation Resistance** Our umbrellas have been tested to withstand up to 10,000 rads of radiation. However, we make no promises for anything above 10,000 rads. You're on your own.

**Section 3: Defect Liability** We will replace or refund any defective umbrellas that are found to be defective due to manufacturing defects, but not due to nuclear explosions or rogue robot attacks.

**Section 4: Disclaimer** By using our umbrellas, you acknowledge that you are aware of the risks of getting struck by lightning, attacked by wild animals, or getting lost in the woods while searching for a safe zone.

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