The Morning Madness of 2017

When the alarm clock went off at 6:00 AM, the sun was still asleep, but the coffee was awake. And so were you.

It's that time of year again, where the only thing more terrifying than the thought of another day of meetings and deadlines is the thought of facing the mirror after 5 minutes of staring at your reflection in a sleep-deprived haze.

So, here's the plan:

• Drink 3 cups of coffee before 8:00 AM or face the consequences.
• Write 'Today's Goals' on a whiteboard in Comic Sans and stick it to your wall.
• Practice your 'I'm a functioning member of society' face in the mirror until it's just right.

And remember, it's not just about the coffee. It's about the existential dread that comes with it.

Read more:

The Coffee Connoisseur The Dreaded Mirror

Recommended Reading:

Because you clearly need more help:

1. The Art of Napping - a 10-step guide to doing nothing.

2. The Procrastination Expert - because who needs productivity, anyway?

Disclaimer:

By clicking 'I'm a functioning member of society', you agree not to sue us if the morning still sucks.

This site is for entertainment purposes only. Or is it?

Copyright 2017, Morning Madness Inc. All rights reserved. Or stolen.