Welcome, aspiring phone farmer! In this workshop, you'll learn the art of cultivating a thriving phone farm.
First things first, you need to acquire some phones. You can either purchase a few hundred from the local phone store or, for the truly adventurous, try your hand at phone hacking.
Once you have your phones, you'll need to create a suitable environment for them to grow. This includes a sturdy phone stand, a reliable power source, and a dash of fertilizer (we recommend a 50/50 mix of cat food and old circuit boards).
Next, you'll need to plant your phones. Simply place them on the stand, and voilà! Your first crop of phone seeds will begin to sprout.
After several days of careful tending, your phones will be ripe and ready for harvesting. To do so, simply pick them up gently and inspect for any signs of damage or malfunctioning.
Be sure to store your harvested phones in a cool, dry place, away from prying eyes and curious pets.
For the truly advanced phone farmer, we recommend experimenting with phone grafting, where you take two phones and connect them in a way that creates a single, super-phone with twice the processing power of its constituent parts.
With your phone farm up and running, you'll need to find buyers for your crops. We recommend attending local tech conferences, where you can network with other phone farmers and sell your wares to eager collectors.
Or, if you prefer the online route, try listing your phones on the PhoneFarmers' Union forum.