A Declaration of Independence... from the Bland!

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to reject the mundane.

We, the People of Blandville, hold these truths to be self-evident:

• That the pursuit of beige-colored everything is a recipe for disaster.
• That the only thing more boring than a beige sofa is a beige refrigerator.
• That the only thing worse than a beige wall is a beige wall with a beige door.

We, therefore, solemnly declare that from this day forward, we shall resist the bland with all the ferocity of a thousand flamingos.

We shall fight for the right to wear bright colors, for the freedom to eat spicy food, and for the courage to say "no" to the soul-sucking abyss of beige.

Read the Second Amendment Redux, where we redefine the right to bear arms... with flair! Read the First Amendment Rebuttal, where we reassert the right to free speech, but this time with a healthy dose of sass!