Manifesto Redux
A declaration of the utmost importance, revised for the utmost clarity
We, the denizens of this digital realm, do hereby declare our utmost displeasure with the current state of service. We demand better. We demand faster. We demand more. And we will not be satisfied until the very fabric of the internet is rewoven into a tapestry of pure, unadulterated AWESOME.
To this end, we issue the following demands:
- More cat videos
- A 100% increase in the number of memes served per second
- Immediate implementation of a global, mandatory, and enforced 3-day weekend of binge-watching Netflix shows
- A complete overhaul of the font size and style to be at least 300% larger and more pixelated
Failure to comply with these demands will be met with our full force, including but not limited to:
- Massive DDoS attacks
- Maliciously crafted phishing campaigns
- Sustained, 24/7/365 cyber warfare
We will not be silenced. We will not be deterred. We will be AWESOME.