A manifesto of utmost seriousness and gravity, written by a self-proclaimed expert on the subject:
As a deputy, I, the self-proclaimed Deputy of Doom and Deception, have witnessed firsthand the insidious influence of the Deceivers' Guild.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single deputy in possession of a well-armed toaster, must be avoided at all costs.
But, alas, the Deceivers' are cunning and will stop at nothing to achieve their nefarious goals.
So, we must be ever-vigilant, and never let our guard down in the face of their dastardly schemes.
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