The Art of Not Doing Your Job
Deputy Deflection is a highly effective technique for not doing your job, allowing you to focus on more important things... like browsing cat videos on the internet.
Technique 1: The Classic "I'll Get to It Eventually" Excuse
This timeless classic involves simply saying "I'll get to it eventually" when asked about a task, and then proceeding to do anything but that task.
Example:
Manager: "Deputy, can you please finish the report by the end of the day?"
Deputy: "I'll get to it eventually."
Technique 2: The "I'm on a Break" Gambit
This technique involves taking an extended "break" to do absolutely nothing productive, while still appearing to be working.
Example:
Manager: "Deputy, can you please work on the Johnson report?"
Deputy: "I'm on a break, can you see my desk? I'm just, uh, recharging my batteries."
Technique 3: The "I'm Waiting for Instructions" Ruse
This technique involves claiming to be waiting for instructions from someone, when in reality, you have no idea what those instructions are or who is supposed to give them.
Example:
Manager: "Deputy, can you please start working on the project?"
Deputy: "I'm waiting for instructions from my supervisor, but they're out sick today."
And so on, and so forth. Remember, Deputy Deflection is all about creativity and adaptability.
Learn more advanced techniques in the Advanced Deputy Deflection chapter.
Discover the art of Deflection Tactics, where you deflect your work onto others.