Deputy Denizens 101: The Official Handbook for the Modern Deputy

Welcome, new deputy! Congratulations on your decision to join our ranks. This handbook is your comprehensive guide to navigating the world of deputy denizens. From the basics of deputy etiquette to advanced techniques for dealing with demanding overlords, we've got you covered.

Chapter 1: Deputy Etiquette

As a deputy, you'll need to know how to interact with your fellow denizens. This includes:

• Respect the hierarchy: always address your superiors with a bow and a smile
• Use proper titles: "Sir", "Madam", "Your Worship", and "Your Majesty" are all acceptable
• Don't talk about your overlords' haircuts

Chapter 2: Advanced Techniques for Dealing with Demanding Overlords

Some overlords can be, shall we say, "trying" at times. Here's how to cope:

1. Active listening: pretend to care about their problems
2. Empathy is key: remember, it's not about you, it's about them
3. Breathe deeply and slowly: count to 10, or 20, or 100

Chapter 3: Deputy Code of Conduct

As a deputy, you are expected to uphold certain standards of behavior. These include:

• Never touch a superior's stapler
• Always report any suspicious activity to the proper authorities
• Never, ever, ever, ever touch the coffee machine during peak hours