Issue 2: "My Breathometer's Not Working Right" - A Case Study in Red Tape
Download, print, and fill out the attached form in triplicate. Make sure to use a black pen, not a pencil.
We will review your form and get back to you in the time it takes to fill a standard-issue 40-hour workweek.
A meeting will be scheduled for you, but not until we've reviewed your form and determined that your problem is "worthy" of our attention.