We have an urgent matter that requires your immediate attention.
A rogue batch of donuts has been spotted in the vicinity of the 3rd floor break room.
Please report to the Donut Response Team (DRT) for further instructions.
Failure to report will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Loss of seniority points
- Temporary suspension of coffee privileges
- Forfeiture of all remaining vacation days
Please stay vigilant and report any further sightings of rogue donuts.
DRT Hotline MEMORANDUM 2: Donut Protocol Updates