Step 1: Wear a suit of armor to work. Not because you're in a medieval battle, but because it's Tuesday.
Step 2: Install a 20-foot tall "World's Greatest Deputy" sign outside your house. Your neighbors will be impressed.
Step 3: Replace all your furniture with exercise balls. It's the perfect solution for those pesky couch potatoes.
Need more tips? Check out:
Advanced Overcompensating Techniques
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous: