We, the entitled, demand the following:
- Free hugs and high-fives on demand.
- Unlimited avocado toast with extra bacon.
- The right to complain about the weather, even when it's sunny.
- Personal, one-on-one, in-person meetings with influencers and celebrities.
- Immediate gratification of all desires, regardless of reasonableness.
Failure to comply will result in the following punishments:
- Sarcastic remarks.
- Skeptical eye-rolling.
- Withholding of further social interaction.
- Public shunning, including but not limited to, blocking on all social media platforms.