You have been assigned to read the following extremely boring and pointless document, effective immediately:
THE OFFICIAL GUIDE TO DOING THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE AMOUNT OF WORK WHILE STILL COLLECTING A PAYCHECK
Section 1: Procrastination Techniques
- Take a 3 hour break to scroll through memes on the internet
- Call your mom to complain about the weather
- Practice your 'I'm not a morning person' stare
Section 2: Creative Time-Wasting
- Write a strongly worded letter to your boss, but never send it
- Plan a 5-year project to reorganize your desk
- Research the art of extreme folding of paper towels
Continue to the next section