Welcome, dear client, to the esteemed services of Goal 2: Existential Crisis Specialists. I'm your therapist, Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth. I must say, it's been a while since I've seen anyone so... frazzled.
We've got a lot of ground to cover, but first, let's get one thing straight: your existence is, indeed, meaningless. It's a harsh reality, but someone's gotta tell ya. Now, shall we get started?