A good gift should be like a well-placed bribe. It should be a subtle reminder that you, the deputy, are the real boss around here.
For the deputy who has everything, consider gifting a rare, exotic spice blend from the market of the world. This will show your appreciation for their refined taste in, well, everything.
Or, if you're feeling particularly crafty, whip up some homemade "Deputy's Delight" cookies. These will be a surefire hit at the office holiday party.
You can also consider gifting a personalized "World's Okayest Deputy" mug. It's a classic, but trust us, it's a crowd-pleaser.
For the adventurous deputy, gift a set of steak knives. They're like a gift of freedom, but without all the pesky "freedom" part.
But what about the deputy who has nothing? Don't worry, we've got you covered. A gift of a nice, sturdy trash bag will show your appreciation for their dedication to the job.
Or, if you're feeling particularly generous, gift a year's supply of coffee. This will show your appreciation for their ability to stay awake during meetings.
Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, gift a gift card to a local charity in their name. This will show your appreciation for their ability to pretend to care about the world.
For the deputy who has seen it all, gift a nice, framed picture of the office Christmas party from 20 years ago. This will be a surefire hit, or a crushing reminder of all that has been lost.