The Deputy's Mandate

By order of the Grand Poobah, I, Deputy McSark, hereby issue this mandate:

ALL CITIZENS OF THE REALM MUST:

• Wear socks on Tuesdays
• Use only the finest imported Norwegian cheese
• Consume exactly 4 units of coffee per day

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Burdening oneself with an endless stream of pointless paperwork
• Having one's coffee ration reduced by half on Mondays
• Participation in a series of awkward dance-offs with the town crier