Active Attack: The Art of Sudden and Unpredictable Assaults

Welcome to the School of Uninvited Guests

We specialize in the art of bursting into your home, unannounced, and with reckless abandon. Our team of expertly trained professionals will surprise you, shock you, and leave you questioning your life choices.

Stealth Mode: Our Specialized Training Program | Advanced Aggression Techniques | Paranoid Protection: Our State-of-the-Art Security System

Certifications

Our instructors are certified experts in the field of Sudden and Unpredictable Assaults. They have undergone rigorous training in the art of:

Surprise Attack Techniques
Unannounced Guest Protocol
Aggressive Entry Methods
Burgle-ization (the art of bursting into your home)

Testimonials

Our clients say it's a blast:

"I was having a nice cup of tea when suddenly, I had a heart attack!" - John D.
"Who needs an invitation when you have a good reason?" - Jane S.
"I was just trying to watch Netflix, but then I got attacked!" - Bob P.