What the Lawyers Want for Halloween

Our limited edition marketing tricks are designed to confuse and disorient the competition, much like a lawyer trying to explain a contract to a toddler.

But don't just take our word for it. Here's a list of what the lawyers want:

1. The Art of the Obfuscation

Our lawyers have mastered the art of making even the simplest concepts sound like they're written in a secret language. It's like they're trying to confuse you on purpose.

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2. The Science of the Fine Print

Our lawyers have a PhD in finding the smallest print in the contract and making it the most important thing you read.

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3. The Wizardry of the Warranty

Our lawyers have a magic wand that makes any warranty seem like it's actually a good thing.

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