The Selfie Defense Protocol: Because You Can Never Be Too Safe

In a world where the internet is full of trolls, cyberbullies, and just plain mean people, it's essential to protect your online self from the dangers of hurtful comments and unsolicited advice. That's where the Selfie Defense Protocol comes in – a comprehensive guide to safeguarding your digital dignity.

Phase 1: The Basics

1. Step 1: Set Your Social Media Accounts to 'Private'
2. Step 2: Use a VPN (Very Personalized Network Protector)
3. Step 3: Block, Block, Block!

Phase 2: Advanced Tactics

1. Step 1: Create an Impenetrable Profile Picture
2. Step 2: Develop a Thick Skin (Literally – Get a Tattoo of a Shield)
3. Step 3: Deploy an Army of Robo-Bullies to Distract Your Enemies

Remember: a strong Selfie Defense Protocol is key to maintaining your online sanity. Don't let the haters get you down!