Treatment Options

Based on your symptoms, we're happy to present the following treatment options:

Catastrophic Laser Surgery

A radical new approach that promises to leave you feeling like new, but might just leave you in a heap on the floor.

Learn more

Placebos and Prayer

We've tried it on our CEO, and it worked like a charm (he's still alive, anyway).

Read the case study

Doing Nothing

The classic approach of just sitting on the couch, eating Cheetos, and waiting for it all to go away.

We've heard it's a real game-changer.

Try it out for yourself!
Tips and Tricks for Maximizing Your Treatment Experience