The Bad Breath Policy

Section 1: What Constitutes Bad Breath

According to our highly scientific and totally-not-made-up experts, bad breath is defined as any odor that can knock a bystander's eyes out of their head.

Section 2: Reporting Bad Breath

If you are a victim of bad breath, please fill out this simple form to report the incident:

Alternatively, you can contact our Bad Breath Hotline at 1-800-BAD-BREATH

Section 3: Punishments

We take bad breath very seriously and may subject offenders to the following punishments:

• Mandatory mouthwash
• Exile to Breath-Isolation Island
• Community service: 10 hours of scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush
• Probation: 6 months of eating only yogurt and parsley

For more information on our Bad Breath Policy, see our appendix.