A Guide to Disastrous Romance
Warning: The following reports are for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to use this information for actual decision-making. Or do. We don't really care.
Case Number: 2022-01-01
On January 1, 2022, at 3:14 AM, our team received a report of a potentially hazardous situation involving a romantic partner who, in a moment of unadvisable excitement, attempted to fix a leaky faucet with an excessive amount of superglue. The resulting mess left the subject with their shoes stuck to the ceiling fan, causing a 10-foot radius of destruction and a severe case of "what have I done?!
Resolution: Subject was safely extracted using a firehose and a can of WD-40. Relationship status: "It's complicated."