Warning: Our Grandfather's life was a series of unfortunate events.
In 1955, he survived a near-fatal accident involving a lawnmower, a can of gasoline, and a can of Spam.
He later married our grandmother in 1962, but it didn't end well.
In 1972, he got lost in the woods for 17 days while searching for a decent Wi-Fi signal.
Our Grandfather's greatest achievement was accidentally inventing the "Disastr-o-Matic" 3000, a toaster that also made really bad jokes.