Our Mother: Creative Ways to Fail

Our mother, the queen of catastrophe, has a few tricks up her sleeve when it comes to failing spectacularly. Here are a few of her favorites:

1. The Classic "Burn it to the Ground" Technique

Our mother's go-to move is to set off the fire alarm, evacuate the building, and watch as the sprinklers turn our living room into a swimming pool.

2. The "I'm a Morning Person" Strategy

She wakes up at the crack of noon, decides she's had enough sleep, and then promptly forgets what time it is, resulting in a series of increasingly frantic phone calls to her own voicemail.

3. The "Procrastination Masterclass"

Our mother's favorite way to get nothing done is to spend 4 hours scrolling through cat videos and then claim she was 'researching cat behavior' for a book she'll never write.

4. The "I'm Not a Morning Person" Method

She sets her alarm clock, hits the snooze button, hits it again, and again, and again, until she forgets what day it is and why she's waking up.