Welcome, amateur disaster date planner!

Our experts have crafted the following disaster dates for you:

Tornado Tuesday - Because why not? Flood Frenzy Friday - Get swept away! Petroleum Pandemonium Saturday - Oil spill party! Asteroid Attack Thursday - Because space rocks! Chemical Catastrophe Church - Praise the HAZMAT! Nuclear Naptime Monday - Because who needs sleep?

Don't forget to bring:

Non-perishable snacks
Emergency contact information for your loved ones (they'll know you're dead)
Bandages
Selfie stick
A good sense of humor (optional)

What to Expect When Hell Freezes Over Disaster Dating Terms and Conditions