June's Top 5 Disasters:
- A firework exploded in the kitchen, setting off the fire alarm and singeing your hair.
- Your significant other left you for their significant other, citing "irreconcilable differences in life philosophy."
- You accidentally superglued your shoes to the floor during a first date.
- Your car broke down on the side of the road, forcing you to walk 5 miles in the pouring rain.
- You got a text from your ex claiming they've started a new, highly successful business venture: "Ex-Cellar Wines" – a wine cellar filled with the finest, most expensive wines, and the only thing you can taste is bitter regret.