Sign up for the most catastrophic love life

Are you tired of boring, run-of-the-mill relationships? Do you want to experience the thrill of having your heart ripped apart by a toxic partner, only to be left with nothing but a pile of shattered dreams and a lingering sense of regret?

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By signing up, you agree to receive a constant stream of:

• Unpredictable and unrelenting heartbreak
• Unannounced and unwarranted breakups
• Endless phone calls in the middle of the night
• Unsolicited advice from well-meaning but clueless friends and family

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All content and relationships are completely fictional and not actually guaranteed to be disastrous.