For those who want to escape the impending doom of reality, welcome to the Evacuation Routes guide.
Leave it all behind and head into the wilderness for some peace and quiet. Or, you know, certain death.
Why bother with the elements? Stay indoors with the people you hate, and enjoy the comforts of civilization.
Don't forget to bring your credit cards, your therapist, and a strong stomach.
Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. Don't actually try to evacuate during an actual disaster. Stay safe, folks.