Do-Nothing Day: Doomsday Device Specifications

For the discerning individual who wants to do nothing, we've compiled the ultimate guide to creating the perfect doomsday device. This 500-page document covers the finer points of doing absolutely nothing, with detailed instructions and diagrams.

Chapter 1: The Theory of Doing Nothing

Appendix I: The Art of Procrastination

Warning: Reading this document may cause increased feelings of apathy and decreased productivity. Proceed at your own risk.

Appendix II: The Science of Doing Nothing