Do Nothing

Doing nothing is the new doing.

The health effects of doing nothing are numerous and varied. Here are some of the most common side effects:

Weight gain: Your body will slowly start to consume everything within a 5-block radius, including furniture, pets, and occasionally, your spouse.
Atrophy of cognitive function: Your ability to remember where you put your keys will decline rapidly, leading to increased anxiety and panic attacks.
Rapidly increasing sense of entitlement: You'll become convinced that the world revolves around you and that everyone else is just a mere spectator in your life.
Unstable relationships: Your loved ones will start to distance themselves from you, citing "excessive navel-gazing" as the reason.
Loss of motor function: Your limbs will slowly start to atrophy, making it increasingly difficult to reach the fridge for that one last-minute snack.
Uncontrollable urges to watch cat videos: Your brain will start to crave the soothing sounds of cat meowing and the mesmerizing patterns of laser pointers, leading to a downward spiral of addiction.