THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO DOING NOTHING
Welcome, friend. This is the definitive guide to achieving peak nothingness. Below, we will cover the most effective techniques for doing absolutely nothing.
Technique 1: The Art of Staring Blankly into Space
This technique involves gazing into the abyss of nothingness, unfazed by the crushing ennui of existence. Try it for 30 minutes, 1 hour, or 5 hours - the results will astound you!
- Start by staring at the wall.
- Gradually shift your gaze to the floor.
- Finally, fix your stare on the ceiling.
Technique 3: The Frenzied Fidgeting of Utter Inactivity
Technique 2: The Ancient Art of Doing the Bare Minimum
In this technique, we will teach you the delicate balance between doing just enough to survive and doing so much that you suffocate under the weight of your own ineptitude.
- Do the minimum number of tasks to avoid being late.
- Take the absolute minimum time to accomplish each task.
- Do not, under any circumstances, take a break.
Technique 3: The Frenzied Fidgeting of Utter Inactivity
Technique 4: The Zen of Not Caring About Anything