HOARD-STUFF DAY 5: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO ACHIEVING NOTHING

Congratulations, you've made it to Day 5 of hoarding! By now, you should have a impressive collection of useless junk and a deep sense of fulfillment. But don't stop here! Here's a list of expert tips to help you take your hoarding to the next level:

• Invest in a new set of velcro shoes. You never know when you might need to make a quick escape from a hoarding audit.
• Buy a year's supply of single-serve coffee packets. They take up less space than regular coffee, but they'll still make you feel like a functioning member of society.
• Start a collection of antique door knobs. They're like little works of art, and they'll add a nice touch to your hoard.
• Develop a system for organizing your collection. You might want to use a color-coded labeling system or invest in some fancy shelving units.

Recommended Reading:

• HOARDING 101: THE BASICS
• HOARDING ADVANCED: THE ART OF DISCRIMINATION

Remember, hoarding is a lifestyle choice. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

And if you're feeling overwhelmed, just take a step back and admire your handiwork.