Step 1: Overanalyze Your To-Do List
You know the old adage "if at first you don't succeed, throw in the towel." But what about when you do succeed? In that case, question the very notion of success itself. Is it success if it's not a success if you don't feel successful? Is it still success if your mom would still be proud?
Let's break down your To-Do list into smaller, more manageable pieces of nothing. Prioritize the tasks that will bring you the greatest sense of accomplishment, or lack thereof.
Step 2: Find the Perfect Procrastination Technique
There are many ways to do nothing. You could:
- Read a 100-page document on the history of dental floss
- Watch a 24-hour stream of cat videos
- Learn to make origami out of paper clips
- Call your friend to discuss the meaning of life and the universe