Are you tired of being mired in the mundane world of ground-based activities? Do you yearn for the freedom and thrill of weightlessness? Look no further! Our comprehensive guide to airborne techniques will have you soaring in no time.
Also known as 'The Flapping Frenzy', this technique involves rapidly flapping one's arms in an attempt to lift oneself into the air. It's a delicate balance of flailing and flopping, but trust us, it WORKS!
We've developed a revolutionary new technology that will inflate you to new heights! Okay, it's just a bunch of party balloons tied off with twine, but it's a start.
Stare long and hard into the sky, and you too can achieve airborne status. It's all about focus, determination, and ignoring the laws of physics.
Learn more about the mental discipline required for this technique!
Remember, friends: the key to airborne living is all about embracing the absurd. Try new things, and never look down!