By Dr. Jane Smith, Expert in Procrastination and Leisure Studies
In this groundbreaking study, we explore the intricacies of doing nothing at all. Participants were asked to stare at a wall for 8 hours straight, and the results are nothing short of astonishing.
The subjects reported a 99% increase in boredom, a 97% decrease in productivity, and a 100% increase in existential dread. We are proud to say that this study was funded by the National Institute of Doing Nothing.
By Dr. John Doe, Expert in Physics of Doing Nothing
In this paradigm-shifting study, we investigate the fundamental laws governing the motion of not-moving. Our findings have far-reaching implications for the fields of physics, engineering, and couch-surfing.
Using advanced techniques of differential equations and calculus, we have discovered that the speed of nothing is directly proportional to the inverse of the square of the observer's attention span. This has led to the development of a new theory of nothing.