A Comprehensive Guide to Achieving Nothing in 10 Easy Steps
Develop a compelling narrative for your lack of productivity, e.g., "I was busy watching paint dry."
Identify the perfect spot to indulge in leisure activities, e.g., your couch, your bed, or the local coffee shop.
Dodge deadlines with the latest in mind-numbing entertainment, e.g., cat videos, social media, or video games.
Create a schedule for your day, filled with excuses for why you won't be doing anything productive.
Join online communities of fellow procrastinators for advice, validation, and inspiration.
Pat yourself on the back for a job well done in doing absolutely nothing.
Collaborate with a friend to create a productivity-free zone.
Train yourself to enjoy the guilt and shame that comes with doing nothing.
Unleash your inner ninja of nothingness with advanced techniques for dodging deadlines.
Reach a state of pure, unadulterated, nothingness.