DOING NOTHING IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL

Technique #6: EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA PROcrastination

In this technique, the art of doing nothing reaches new heights of absurdity. It's like the procrastination equivalent of climbing Mount Everest, but instead of snow, you're climbing a mountain of excuses, a sea of procrastination, and a valley of 'just 5 more minutes.'

Step 1: Create an elaborate to-do list

Write down every single thing you could possibly do, and then cross off every single thing you're actually going to do.

Example:

1. Make a sandwich
2. Watch paint dry
3. Learn to play the harmonica
4. Clean the house
5. Read the entire internet
6. Practice extreme ironing

Step 2: Prioritize your to-do list

Rank your to-do list in order of least likely to happen, most likely to happen, and 'I'll get to it eventually.'

1. Learn to play the harmonica (because who needs human interaction, anyway?)
2. Read the entire internet (in 10 years, I'll be an expert)
3. Extreme ironing (it's not like I have a fire to put out or anything)
4. Make a sandwich (just a simple one, I'll eat it in 5 years)
5. Clean the house (when the robots take over)

RELATED ARTICLES:

• Pretzel-Fueled Inertia
• Overthinking It All
• Just One More Minute

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For more advanced procrastination techniques, visit our sister site:

Quantum Procrastination