INFLATO-MATIC OPERATING MANUAL

Warning: Contents may cause spontaneous combustion, spontaneous laughter, or spontaneous combustion-induced laughter

Congratulations on purchasing the world's most useless, most explosive, most utterly absurd inflatable product: Inflato-Matic!

As the proud owner of this marvel of modern science, you'll need to know how to operate, maintain, and occasionally disown this behemoth of a product.

Operating the Inflato-Matic

1. Plug the Inflato-Matic into a nearby outlet.
2. Turn the cranky handle clockwise until the warning light stops flashing ( warning: this may take several minutes).
3. Step back 10 feet and prepare for impact.

For optimal results, we recommend operating the Inflato-Matic in a well-ventilated area, away from any loose objects, pets, or sentient beings.

Troubleshooting

• If the Inflato-Matic starts to emit a loud, piercing whine, you may need to replace the faulty squeaky wheel of fortune.
• If the Inflato-Matic begins to inflate at an alarming rate, please refer to the included Emergency Procedures.
• If the Inflato-Matic simply refuses to inflate, you may need to perform the ancient ritual of Rebooting the Inflato-Matic.