Laundry Day: A Guide to Not Eating Dust

Warning: The following content is highly classified and not suitable for those who enjoy eating dust. Prolonged exposure may lead to a lifetime supply of allergies and asthma.

Technique 1: The Dust-B-Gone

Dust is not just a nuisance, it's a lifestyle. But don't worry, we've got you covered. Introducing the Dust-B-Gone, a revolutionary new way to remove dust from your clothes without actually washing them.

Here's how it works:

Technique 2: The Vacuum of Despair

When all else fails, try this desperate measure:

Simply stare intensely at the dust particles until they're sucked out of existence.

We're not kidding. It's science.

Technique 3: The Fuzzy Sock Method

This one's a real game-changer. Simply place a fuzzy sock on the affected area, and the dust will somehow, inexplicably be drawn to it.

We're still not really sure how this works, but it's been known to be 99% effective.

Side effects may include: sock lint, increased risk of sock-related anxiety, and an existential crisis.

Side Effects of Not Eating Dust

Don't say we didn't warn you.