Ultra Platinum Donations: Because Who Needs Food, Shelter, and Healthcare, Anyway?

We'll Make You Rich, But Not Really

For just $1,000,000, we will give you:

• Exclusive access to our ultra-platinum forum, where you can discuss the meaning of life with prophets who have clearly never had a meaningful conversation
• A personalized welcome message from our CEO, written on a used tissue, with a faint hint of desperation
• A 10% discount on any future donations, because who doesn't love saving a buck?
• A special ultra-platinum badge that you can display on your forehead, warning everyone of your impending financial crisis Pledge to the next level: Legendary

Sponsored by the Ultra-Brutalist Church of the Future of the Internet