Confidential: Eyes Only

For those with 3-digit clearance or higher.

You've made it past the laser grid. Congratulations. Here's the intel you've been waiting for:

The recipe for the world's most complex lasagna. It's a doozy.

Layer 1: Spaghetti, a healthy dose of garlic, and a pinch of regret.

Layer 2: Rich Brie, because everything's better with cheese.

Layer 3: Savory Sausage for the bold.

Layer 4: Mystery Meat. Don't ask questions.

Layer 5: Faux-negregate for the discerning.

Bake at 400°F for 37 hours. Serve with a side of existential dread.

Enjoy your meal, but don't say we didn't warn you.