Today, we gather to protest the egregious sprinkling of sprinkles on the donut of our beloved leader, Bob. It is said that the sprinkles were added in the dead of night, under the cover of darkness, and with the utmost disregard for the democratic process. We will not stand for this travesty!
We demand a full investigation into the sprinkling of the donut, and we demand that those responsible be held accountable. We will not rest until our donut is free from the tyranny of sprinkles!
Read the Full Report on Sprinkle-GateBut wait, there's more! Join the Sprinkle-Gate Protest March!
And don't forget to check out our Sprinkle-Gate Merchandise, where you can buy a t-shirt that reads "Sprinkle-Free Donut" in bold, black letters! Buy Now!