I know, I know, it's not the most original gesture. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who still has my old Valentine's Day cards from 1977, but I'm working on it.

Instead, I'll just be buying myself a nice bottle of wine, some chocolate, and maybe a new pair of socks.

Don't worry, I won't be sending any of you (yes, you, my friends) any cards or gifts, so you don't have to worry about reciprocating.

However, I'll probably still end up feeling guilty and anxious for not participating in the holiday spirit, so you can expect me to be sipping alone in my room, surrounded by my cat, Mr. Whiskers, who's also not getting any gifts.

Best regards, John (who's still feeling pretty okay about not being a good friend)