Emergency Meeting: Evacuation Routes

Don't Panic, We Have a Plan

During emergency situations, please refer to these evacuation routes:

Stairwell Route (Primary)

From Floor 3 to Floor 1, take the stairs. Do not take elevator, they may be possessed.

More Stairwell Route Information

Fire Exit Route (Secondary)

Take the fire door on the east side, it has a nice view of the parking lot. Don't get too distracted.

More Fire Exit Route Information

Window Route (Not Recommended)

Only take this route if you enjoy a good game of "Survival of the Fittest". Jumping from the third floor window may be an option, but please don't. Don't. Don't. Just don't.

More Window Route Disclaimers and Disincentives

Remember: Stay Calm, Stay Informed, and Stay Away from the Coffee Machine

Coffee Machine Route (Do Not Take)

Don't even think about it. The coffee machine has a history of causing chaos and panic. It's like a ticking time bomb, but with more caffeine.

Other Emergency Exit Options (You're on your own with these ones)

Emergency Assembly Point (The place where all the cool kids gather)

Alternate Routes (Because who needs actual directions, right?)