Strategy 2: The Great Firewall Fiasco

Also known as "The 'I'm Not a Bot' Strategy", this approach involves setting up a series of increasingly complex firewall rules to confuse and deter would-be attackers.

Step 1: Configure your firewall to block all incoming traffic from known malicious IP addresses. This includes, but is not limited to, step 1.

Step 2: Set up a honeypot trap to lure in unsuspecting attackers. This involves creating a fake login page that looks like a real website, but is actually just a trap waiting to happen.

Step 3: Activate your firewall's "I'm a chicken" mode, which involves setting up a series ofประก random firewall rules that will make your website appear to be hosted on a different continent.

Step 4: Call it a day and go home, because at this point, you're just making things up as you go along.

For more information on this strategy, see Advanced Techniques for the truly committed.

Disclaimer: Do not actually try this at home. Or do. We're not our lawyers.