Unsolicited Advice: Because You Clearly Need Help

Dear [User], are you really sure you're doing things right? Let's take a closer look at your life choices: Take a Break from the Internet and Relearn Basic Cooking Stop Wearing Socks in the House, Turn Off Your TV (but only if you actually watched something better last night)

Seriously, though, here's some real talk:

Visit your grandmother, she still loves you