Why We Don't Get Caught

We're not that good, we swear. Our methods are a bit... unorthodox. Let's just say we're not exactly "by the book".

But seriously, we've got it down to a science.

• Our agents are highly trained in the art of "looking busy" when we're actually up to no good.
• We've developed a sophisticated system of hiding in plain sight, utilizing our extensive knowledge of local coffee shops and parking garages.
• And let's be real, have you ever tried to track down someone who's been drinking a venti-super-sized latte at a busy coffee shop? It's not easy, folks.
• Our encryption methods are top-notch, using a complex system of sticky notes and burnt DVDs.
• We've got a network of underground safe houses (okay, they're just old storage units in our basements) and a reliable supply of stale crackers for emergency rations.

Read about our clandestine handshakes and clandestin' hand-to-hands. Learn more about the organization behind the operation (or not).